The past couple months have been one of the hardest of my life. I definitely feel as though my soul has been chipped away. I've learned the hard way that in an instant, friendship can change, stability can disappear, promises can be broken, and your family can and WILL be shaken at times.
It has really has been the summer that EVERYTHING that's out of my control has completely gone the wrong way, yet everything I CAN control has gone very well. honestly, the truth is, is that even though it's been difficult, the fact is I've never felt a sense of discouragement. Not to say that I haven't been frustrated, but I've definitely learned the hard way that if you just keep your feet moving, good things might not happen, but great opportunities will come your way. It's how you handle those second chances that determine whether good things DO happen.
That's the funny thing about being a Christian, it's SO easy to blame God for the junk, but the honest truth is that the junk is a part of life that just happens. If your REALLY a Christian, and actually believe, than the truth is simple:
EVERYTHING from God is a blessing, ESPECIALLY the things you DON'T have.
Now as far as being a christian, I actually lean on the non spiritual side of things. I truly believe that the pursuit of Wisdom is FAR more important than the pursuit of an emotional experience. When I've studied the bible, it's obvious that knowledge is a FAR more precious gift than miracles.
In saying that, I don't think you should Thank God for the junk just cause the junk teaches you a lesson that makes you a better person. That kind of thinking just leads to a sappy feeling inside that leads you to believe that your entitled to be better. That's just pure narcissism, which leads to MORE drama you'll deal with later. I just believe you should thank God that he keeps you alive in a world where things just happen, most the time naturally, whether it benefits us or not.
Honestly, that actually gives me a lot of peace. It gives me peace to know that even though I may "underperform" or "not be a good enough Christian" in other people's eyes, that God REALLY doesn't care what I or anyone thinks. He's just thrilled that me and "those people" are still alive so we can keep attempting to pursue him and be in love with him, and that's ALL THAT REALLY MATTERS. That makes the "crap" worth dealing with, and that's what makes those people that I feel screw me over very much forgivable. I'm just really no different from any of them, they deal with the same crap that I do.
Friday, July 29, 2011
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